We’ve all been there, we’ve all had them. You would probably have a hard time trying to find someone who HASN’T had a negative experience in the equine industry at some point. Being sold a horse labelled as quiet which threw your kid off the first ride home, paying $400 a week for training on a horse which has been sitting in a paddock instead of getting rode, hearing people talk negatively about you or your friends in the arena stands… In some way shape or form, we’ve all experienced negativity.
Personally speaking, I have been blessed by my Mother, to always carry the mentality to learn. You didn’t check your blind spot before switching lanes and got tooted at? Learn from it. Your mashed potatoes turned out runny because you added too much milk? Learn from it. Your “friend” said something mean about you behind your back? Learn from it. You went in the pen and your horse wouldn’t back? Learn from it.
In every situation you will experience the potential for a positive or a negative outcome, our decisions and mentality will dictate the final result, and how it affects us.
We can choose to wallow in our feelings, emotions and thoughts, and let them effect us negatively, let them consume us and our outlook on the future. Or we can choose to accept our situation, acknowledge our feelings, asses why it is that we are experiencing them. Then we can take our experience or situation, analyse it, and see how what we have just learnt can be utilised or applied to our outlook on the future.
Example One: You have a Horsemanship class coming up, and your horse has been a real a** in his turns. So you’ve worked on those turns for days, you go out, and you turn and turn and turn him, you do exercises which also help your turns, and then some more turns. So now its show time, you go to warm up and that horse is nailing his turns, awesome! Your hard work has paid off! You walk into the pen and stand at the first marker, the judge acknowledges you and you set off into a straight line extended trot. Then halt, and you take a deep breath, and pray to the gods this damn horse turns. He turns and a wave of relief comes over you, you nailed it! Now to set up a right lead departure into a circle, you put that leg on and all of a sudden, instead of loping off, that SOB starts turning again. You go off pattern and thus are disqualified, instead of completing the pattern you walk out in tears. After this, you have two choices.
Choice Number 1;
Cry your eyes out to your trainer and Mom, blame your horse and never think about learning from it because it was all his fault and you’re never doing Horsemanship again. This show pen experience has been nothing but negative because of your thinking.
Choice Number 2;
Asses what just happened. Why did my horse just do that? You figure out the potential causes for this incident. Did he do it because my leg was in the wrong spot? Did he do it because I practiced my turns so hard he predicted what I wanted? Did he do it because I didn’t practice my lead departures? You figure out which was more plausible, and you learn from it. Next time you’ll make sure to practice your lead departures as well as your turns, to avoid what just happened. Because it wasn’t your horses fault, it was yours.
You successfully took your negative show pen experience, and turned it into a positive learning experience, just by changing your thinking. Your pony got extra dinner that night.
Example Two:
You have had your horse in training with one of the “best” in your state, they are only a few hours drive from you and they regularly show horses to top 3 placings. They have an open spot for training and your green 3 year old is accepted. You send your horse off and begin paying the $300 a week training fee. One week, two weeks, five weeks, ten weeks, you have been paying that $300 fee. You wonder how your horse is going and decide to send your trainer a text, no reply. You give it a couple days because trainers are always busy, right? A week later and another $300 and no reply, so you decide to call, no answer. By now you’re feeling anxious, and frustrated. You ring and ring and ring and FINALLY get an answer, by now you’re beyond mad and tell your trainer you’re coming to pick the horse up in 2 days. The trainer refuses to let you come and pick up the horse “Because he isn’t ready, he needs more time” But you don’t give one and tell him you’ll be there 9AM in two days time. You show up with your trailer and you see your horse standing in a wash bay wet. Strange, why did they just bath him? Your trainer walks out and is all smiles, and nothing but positive things to say about your horse. He says he’s going to ride him for you, saddles him and drags him out of the wash bay. Your horse is clearly tired and looking very un fit, poor muscle definition and not as much weight as you would like. The horse is rode around and is clearly exhausted, struggling and confused. You’ve seen enough so you end that ride, hose and water your horse and take him home. Your horse is no where near what you had expected him to be in 11 weeks and has clearly not been worked even though you were paying a training fee. You are fuming. After this, you have two choices.
Choice Number One;
You bad mouth this trainer all over the Internet and every facebook group you can think of, you swear you’ll never use another trainer again and you are DONE with the horse industry. Your horse sits in the paddock for the rest of its life and now you’re into showing chickens.
Choice Number Two; You asses what has happened. Why did that trainer take all my money and not give me what I wanted? Why was my horse wet and in the wash bay when I got there? Why was my horse so clearly struggling and confused? Why did I not check in earlier? Why did I not seek previous clients opinions and experiences before considering this trainer? You figure out all the possibilities to these questions. You decided that next time, you will be more careful, do your research before sending a horse to a trainer, you will insist on weekly video updates of your horse, and you will also insist that the horse will still be in its paddock when you go to see it. You successfully took your negative trainer experience, and turned it into a positive learning experience, just by changing your thinking.
You see, we have the ability to choose the way everything in our life effects us. We as the individual have the power to shape our future and all that it entails. We have the power to shape and change our way of thinking, and change our outlooks on situations we are presented with. We can take every negative experience and turn it into a positive learning one, and I believe this is a substantial contributing factor, to what makes some of the greatest horseman, horsewoman, competitors and everyday people.
We can take this power, and apply it to our everyday relationships, career, hobbies and our precious horses.
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